Your introduction paragraph starts off well, with a good hook that also summarizes the part of frankenstein that is relevant to the prompt. However, immediately after, you introduce a counterargument. This would be fine, but you simply state that there is another argument that can be made; you don’t elaborate on the counterargument or its points, so you can’t demolish it with your thesis in the rest of the introduction. Try to make a short argument in the counter argument’s direction, then destroy it with your points. The rest of the introduction is nice, you clearly state what your argument is and why you think that. If anything, try to make some style changes, so that it reads easier (not sure what that would be though). Also, in your analogy at the end, you might not want to include stopping a bank robbery, because I don’t think that fits the time period very well.

The next paragraph starts well too, talking about Victor’s flawed motivations for creating the monster is a good way to show that his reasons for creating the monster were flawed, and that he should never have created it. Your first quote could be integrated a little better, because although the sentences around it explain the same topic as the quote, none of the sentences actually reference the quote as an example to prove your argument- it’s just there. Try saying something along the lines of: “He shows this when he says: ‘Quote’ ” or “… as seen when he states: ‘Quote’ “. The last two sentences of the paragraph, the ones you start with ‘It’, you should probably reword, because it is a little hard to tell what the subject of the sentence is when you just say ‘It’. Overall, it’s a good paragraph, however, you don’t tie in how Victor wanting power is a reason that he shouldn’t have created the monster. Try to include a couple of sentences that tie this paragraph to your thesis.

The last paragraph has a good premise, making the connection between two scientists that have created terrible things trying to do good. However, the first sentence is kind of confusing, although I get what you’re trying to say. Maybe something like “Many scientists have accidentally created monsters while trying to create something beneficial.”-or put your own spin on it. Also, you can elaborate on the connection you’re trying to make- you could probably strengthen this paragraph by trying to elaborate on your statements, maybe put in a quote from frankenstein to compare to your quote from Oppenheimer.