This paper was pretty straightforward and I think hit all the necessary points in the needed. The individual made their argument clear by clearly picking a side, which was Victor’s mistake was creating the monster, and then including arguments and evidence to support it. I felt like the connection between Frankenstein and Bill Joy’s article made was good as well but to remember to tie it back to the main idea of the thesis. The amount of quotes used was good in helping convey evidence in each paragraph but instead of including the chapter number the page number should be included! I liked how you included the comparison to Victor trying to play God, and I think that was also your strongest paragraph and point made in the essay. The fourth paragraph, personally, was the most confusing since you introduced it as Victor abandoning the monster and it wanting love and care to it being mad at Victor for making it ugly so I think coming to a concise point on that paragraph and then clarifying your idea will be beneficial to your essay. Transitions between paragraphs will also help with the flow of your essay. I liked the variety of word choice you had since it wasn’t too repetitive and made the essay more interesting to read. In the conclusion, it is kind of worry and I feel like your thesis gets lost in it since you list a lot of points so a suggestion is to maybe shorten it and end in a more elegant manner. Also, since you talked about Bill Joy in your article, I think you should tie technology back in your conclusion and maybe generalize it to society. You could talk about the warning Mary Shelley gives through her gothic novel and tie it to how it can be related to advanced technology and its dangers.