“I get lettuce and tomato whenever I order a burger so I can tell myself that I’m being healthy and eating a salad.” -Alex Churness (115 characters)

“I woke up feeling stoked about getting barreled by a 6 foot wave…until I realized it was only a dream.” -Mina McCormick (105 characters)

“Most college people get written up for having alcohol in their dorm rooms but I got written up for having an extension cord” -Jake Larson (125 characters)

“I skip meals in college not because I don’t have the time or I don’t like the food, it’s I am just too lazy to get out of bed” -Jared Osmond (132 characters)

You can tell a lot about a persons personality by the dipping sauce they choose to order on their 20 pack of chicken nuggets at McDonald’s.- Kevin Amoura (139 characters)

There is exactly thirty eight days, eight hours, and fourty one minutes until I get to return home and have my moms famous thanksgiving meal. – Nathalie Nava (143 characters)

Please explain to me why I though aliens were invading our planet when really it was just SpaceX launching a satellite into space. -Emma Bose (129 characters)

I don’t think I’ve been this tired since junior year of high school and I’m only a freshman in college. -Luisa Macias (103 characters)

Every time I leave my dog home alone he throws a tantrum and spills his water bowl throughout the house. – Jordan McIntosh (86 characters)

Is it merely a coincidence that midterms fall smack dab in the middle of spooky season? I think not… -Jessica Lundstrom (102 characters)

All I’ve had today is coffee and a pack of poptarts. It’s 4pm. Welcome to midterm season. – Noor Fahmy (89 characters)

“When I know I’m going to the SLP I always make sure to take off my belt first” -My Roommate (93 Characters) -Savannah Stallings

Taking a nap when you know you shouldn’t be taking a nap is the best kind of nap. – Derin Uluc (90 characters)

During Olé Weekend, my roommate locked me out of our room while I was showering and I had to walk to Mission Crossroads in only my towel. (137 characters) -Ryan Sprosty

Since midterm season has arrived, I wish everyone good sleep, yummy food, and a high GPA. -Annette Le (89 Characters)

With Halloween creeping up on us and the smell of sweets permeating everywhere there’s one question on everyone’s mind, “Do I have dental?” -Eddy Flores (139 characters)

Will someone please explain to me why mini m&m’s taste so much better than regular m&m’s. -Isabel Busyn (90 Characters)

Would you rather square up with a silverback gorilla or someone who sleeps in jeans (68 characters) – Liam Short

How would I describe myself? I am probably, most definitely, the absolute most humble person I know, quite possibly in the world.- Ryan Alvarado (131characters)

Let me tell you a story. There once was a boy named Rover. But he tripped and fell, into the well, and now the story is over. -Navin Rai(125 characters)

I’m the Ernest Hemingway of 140 characters.
– Donald Trump (46 characters)

The season approaches, but don’t let it fool you; you will regret craving festivity if you buy peppermint mocha coffee creamer. (127 characters)

So I was at my brother’s 7th grade orientation today and the principal comes up to me and asks “Are you new?” SMH (117 characters)