I think that the essay would benefit a lot with a strongly-worded thesis at the beginning so the readers understand what exactly is being argued. An introductory paragraph that relates to the outside world more so than a plot summary would be beneficial as well. If you are arguing that abandonment is the mistake, then maybe provide an example of someone being isolated and how it affected them. Additionally, there is a lot of unnecessary plot summary. Much of it can be deleted because the teacher has already read the book, but you can use the necessary plot events leading up to your quote to better integrate the data. I enjoy the idea about companionship that you are writing about and I feel like it could be a very strong essay. Just be sure to pick accurate data points to support your argument and back it up with a reasoning of why that data supports your thesis/topic. Overall, you have good points, just be sure you organize them so it flows nicely and is easy for the reader to understand. Also, end with a conclusion that ties everything together. This allows for the person reading your essay to grasp entirely what you were arguing and helps tie everything together.

(Luisa)