After reading this essay, I found that the argument is well stated. From the different essays I have already read in my small group, you had a different introduction that I really enjoyed. It was more interesting to see you take a different take on your introduction, rather than summarizing the text like we mostly see. At the end of the essay I feel your thesis could be a little stronger. Maybe instead of saying Mary Shelley, just say “Victor’s biggest mistake was…” while including more detail of what will be discussed in the body paragraphs. You’re argument is well stated all throughout the essay; however, at times it does get repetitive. I found myself reading some of the same lines. For example a line used a lot throughout the essay was: “…which he should had never made in the first place” or “Had Victor not made the monster”. It is helpful for the reader because we will not confuse your argument, but maybe there could be a way to reword or not mention it closely in the essay. I was a little confused what you meant by characterization. I thought maybe the better word to explain this would be personality or just overall his character traits rather than characterization. Another thing that I noticed throughout your essay which is just a formatting issue was the siting of your quotes. You used commas to separate last name from page number; however I do not think you need a comma. There was one of two that I did see without a comma, so just make sure it is consistent all throughout the essay. You did a really good job really analyzing all of the quotes that were used and explaining why you used the quote and how it helped your argument. I like that your conclusion is summarized as briefly as possible, but yet it was enough and you tied it back to the point of what is in common for people creating technology. Overall I really enjoyed reading your essay and thought all the points were very valuable and supported your argument. (Emma Bose)