Like most teenagers today, my relationship with technology started at quite a young age. I got my first phone when I was 8 years old but I remember begging my parents to buy me my first laptop when I was in the 5th grade. After I finally got this laptop it became my world. I’d spend countless amounts of hours playing on virtual worlds such as “Club Penguin” and “Build-a-Bear Workshop”. Although these childish games were amusing, it wasn’t long before the world of social media caught my attention. I made my first Facebook account at the age of 11. I would add all the kids from school and chat with friends all day long on this website. It was harmless and innocent at first, but what I did not realize is that I became addicted.

Facebook was starting to consume me. All I could think about was how many friends I had in comparison to others, if my pictures were beautiful enough, and what my friends were posting on their timelines. If there was a day I hadn’t logged on I’d get extreme anxiety. I felt like I was missing out on this sort of online party. My mother began to notice technology was taking a toll on my academics. She began restricting my usage and this caused me to resent her. I now know that she was only trying to protect me from the addictive nature of technology.

As time went on I started to use my laptop for everything I could think of. This became my escape route out of things I was too lazy to do. If I didn’t know answers to my homework I’d look up keys or study guides to make my life easier. If I didn’t want to talk to someone face to face I’d just online message them.

I was later assigned a creative writing project, there were no rules and I could write about anything my heart desired. For some reason I still searched for the work of others because I felt like mine could never be as good without taking their ideas. My teacher noticed my writing was too advanced and had a conversation with me about copying the work of others. It was painfully embarrassing and I was extremely regretful. Getting this laptop really took a turn for the worse in the way that I became unmotivated. I found myself thinking “Why do I need to do anything if its already been done for me?”.

I’d like to think that I grew out of that lazy mindset but I still use technology as a fallback. People always say that technology can be a tool when used in the right way but It’s almost unavoidable to become dependent on this “tool”. Knowing I have the answers to everything at my fingertips makes me feel empowered and more confident in a way. I truly hope that as technology evolves and grows, we grow with it. As of now everyone seems to be glued to their pocket sized computers, mindlessly floating through life. I’m ashamed to say I am one of those people and it all started with something as innocent as my first laptop.