Healthy Relationships Quiz

Am I in a Healthy Relationship?

Am I a Good Partner?

The Person I’m With:

Do I…

1. Is very supportive of things I do.
2. Encourages me to try new things.
3. Likes to listen when I have something on my mind.
4. Understands that I have my own life too.
5. Is not liked very well by my friends.
6. Says I’m too involved in different activities.
7. Texts me or calls me all the time.
8. Thinks I spend too much time trying to look nice.
9. Gets extremely jealous or possessive.
10. Accuses me of flirting or cheating.
11. Constantly checks up on me.
12. Controls what I wear or how I look.
13. Tries to control what I do and who I see.
14. Tries to keep me from seeing or talking to
    my family and friends.
15. Has big mood swings, is angry and yelling at me one
    minute but is sweet and apologetic the next.
16. Makes me feel nervous or like I’m “walking on eggshells.”
17. Puts me down, calls me names, or criticizes me.
18. Makes me feel like I can’t do anything right or blames
    me for problems.
19. Makes me feel like no one else would want me.
20. Threatens to hurt me, my friends or family.
21. Threatens to hurt him or herself because of me.
22. Threatens to destroy my things.
23. Grabs, pushes, shoves, chokes, punches, slaps, holds me down,
    throws things or hurts me in some way.
24. Breaks or throws things to intimidate me.
25. Yells, screams, or humiliates me in front of others.
26. Pressures or forces me into having sex or going farther
    than I want to.

1. Forget to thank my partner when they do something nice for me?
2. Ignore my partner’s calls if I don’t feel like talking?
3. Get jealous when my partner makes a new friend?
4. Have trouble making time to listen to my partner when
   something is bothering them?
5. Discourage my partner from trying something new like joining a club?
6. Call, text, or drive by my partner’s house a lot?
7. Get upset when my partner wants to hang out with their
   friends or family?
8. Make fun of my partner or call them names?
9. Criticize my partner for their taste in music or clothing?
10. Make fun of my partner’s appearance?
11. Accuse my partner of flirting or cheating even if I’m not
    sure that’s what happened?
12. Take out my frustrations in my partner, like snapping at
    them or giving them attitude?
13. Throws things if I’m mad at my partner or do things like
    hit walls or drive dangerously?
14. Read my partner’s texts or go through their personal
    things, like their wallet or purse?
15. Tell my partner they are the reason for my bad mood even
    if they aren’t?
16. Try to make my partner feel guilty about things that they have
    no control over?
17. Sometimes say things to my partner knowing that they are
    hurtful?
18. Make my partner feel bad about something nice they did
    for me that I didn’t like, even though I know they tried their best?
19. Talk down to or embarrass my partner in front of others?
20. Have sex with my partner even if I think they don’t want to go
    that far?

Score: 0 Points

You got a score of zero? Don’t worry–it’s a good thing! It sounds like your relationship is on a pretty healthy track. Maintaining healthy relationships takes some work–keep it up! Remember that while you may have a healthy relationship, it’s possible that a friend of yours does not. If you know someone who is in an abusive relationship, find out how you can help them.

Score: 0 Points

If you got zero points, congratulations! You make a great partner! It sounds like you’re very mindful of your actions and respectful of your partner’s feelings–these are the building blocks of a healthy relationship. Keeping things on a good track takes work, so stay with it! As long as you and your partner continue like this, your relationship should grow in a healthy direction.

Score: 1-2 Points

If you scored one or two points, you might be noticing a couple of things in your relationship that are unhealthy, but it doesn’t necessarily mean they are warning signs. It is still a good idea to keep an eye out and make sure there isn’t an unhealthy pattern developing. The best thing you can do is to talk to your partner and let them know what you like and don’t like. Encourage them to do the same. Remember, communication is always important when building a healthy relationship. It’s also good to be informed so you can recognize the different types of abuse.

Score: 1-2 Points

If you scored one or two points, there may be a couple of things in your relationship that could use a little attention. Nobody is perfect, but it is important to be mindful of your actions and try to avoid hurting your partner. Remember, communication is key to building a healthy relationship!

Score: 3-4 Points

If you scored three or four points, It sounds like you may be seeing some warning signs of an abusive relationship. Don’t ignore these red flags. Something that starts small can grow much worse over time. No relationship is perfect–it takes work! But in a healthy relationship you won’t find abusive behaviors. If you think your relationship may not be as healthy as you deserve, call the Counseling Center at (619) 260-4655 to find out more.

Score: 3-4 Points

If you scored three or four points, it’s possible that some of your actions may be hurting your partner and relationship. While the behavior may not be abusive, they can worsen over time if you don’t change. Read about the different types of abuse so that you can keep your relationship safe and healthy.

Score: 5+ Points

If you scored five or more points, you are definitely seeing warning signs and may be in an abusive relationship. Remember the most important thing is your safety–consider making a safety plan right now. You don’t have to deal with this alone. We can help. Call the Counseling Center at:
(619) 260-4655 to discuss resources and different approaches for your situation.

Score: 5+ Points

If you scored five or more points, some of your actions may be abusive. You may not realize it, but these behaviors are damaging. The first step to improving your relationship is becoming aware of your unhealthy actions and admitting they are wrong. It’s important to take responsibility for the problem and get help to end it. If you or a loved one needs help, call the Counseling Center at:
(619) 260-4655 for more information on how to get help.