Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. \u00a0It turns what we have into enough, and more. \u00a0It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. \u00a0It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. \u00a0Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow.\u201d\u00a0 <\/i><\/p>\n
– Melody Beattie, Author<\/p>\n
Robert Emmons, a professor of psychology and author of the book THANKS! How Practicing Gratitude Can Make You Happier<\/span>, <\/i>states that gratitude<\/i> is the \u201cqueen of the virtues.\u201d \u00a0That being the case, the \u201cking\u201d of virtues has to be empathy<\/i> (see February 2013 blog).<\/p>\n The \u201cking\u201d and \u201cqueen\u201d oversee a \u201ccourt of virtues,\u201d such as respect, responsibility, compassion, courage, perseverance, citizenship, self-discipline, gratitude, honesty, trust, and empathy.<\/p>\n We should include in the \u201ccourtyard\u201d Martin Seligman\u2019s \u201ccharacter strengths\u201d list:<\/p>\n Our homes, schools, communities, and society, should be fostering and promoting these character strengths and virtues among the young; one might make a case for adults as well.<\/p>\n Let\u2019s focus on the \u201cqueen and king\u201d \u2013gratitude and empathy.<\/i><\/p>\n Emmons defines gratitude<\/i> \u201cas affirming a benefit and giving credit to others for that benefit. \u00a0In other words, gratitude, when properly understood, leads to an active appreciation of others.\u201d<\/p>\n An article appeared in our local newspaper last month authored by Erinn Hutkin and titled \u201cGratitude has Positive Effects on Health.\u201d \u00a0The article\u2019s sub-head highlights the point: \u201cCounting one\u2019s blessings leads to greater well-being and optimism.\u201d \u00a0Several studies demonstrate relationships between gratitude and physical health. \u00a0Why? \u00a0Say the researchers, because of the \u201cpositive emotions that it fosters, the influence it has on relationships, and at the \u2018heart of joy\u2019.\u201d<\/p>\n What can be said about empathy<\/i>? \u00a0I like the way a Teacher of the Year from South Carolina described it:<\/p>\n Who am I? What have I done to become Teacher of the Year? \u00a0I am an empathetic teacher who tries to stand in my students’ shoes. \u00a0I teach my students to stand in each other\u2019s shoes. \u00a0I practice the teaching of empathy. \u00a0This is my greatest achievement, my greatest contribution to public education and to my world.<\/i><\/p>\n Another educator says:<\/p>\n Empathy starts with putting yourself in someone else’s shoes \u2013 a key step in understanding perspectives that differ from your own. This isn’t just a nice thing to do; it’s an essential, active skill. \u00a0It’s foundational to embracing differences, building relationships, gaining a global perspective, conducting richer and deeper analysis, and communicating more effectively. This skill is about as 21st Century as we can get.<\/i><\/p>\n \u201cEmpathy helps us improve the lives of others, as well as our own\u201d, say a leadership expert.<\/i><\/p>\n Two questions:<\/p>\n How do we teach our young (and ourselves for that matter) to learn, practice, and demonstrate what it means to be grateful, to be empathic, to be trustworthy?<\/p>\n How do we get our kids into the \u201ccourtyard of virtues\u201d and out of the mire offered by the media, the Internet, video games, and other sources that degrade, destroy, denigrate, defeat and entice the young to leave the \u201ccourtyard of virtues?\u201d<\/p>\n We start by teaching them, at a very early age and continue during their formative years, the behaviors that are encompassed in each virtue by having moral conversations at home and at school. \u00a0We can serve as role models; engage them in reading and writing about characters in literature and in today\u2019s media. \u00a0We react\/redirect when they leave the \u201ccourtyard.\u201d \u00a0We give them a voice, we encourage them to be of service to one another and others, and we hold them accountable.<\/p>\n Michele Borba, internationally known speaker and authority on parenting, would answer the \u201chow\u201d question by suggesting five steps to teach youth specific character strengths\/virtues.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Two resources for teachers and others<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n On gratitude:<\/i><\/p>\n The Greater Good Science Center at the University of California (http:\/\/greatergood.berkeley.edu\/topic\/gratitude<\/a>) offers several video presentation on the this topic including \u201cmaking gratitude viral,\u201d “cultivating gratitude in the workplace,\u201c \u201chow can we cultivate gratitude in schools,\u201d and \u201chow parents can foster gratitude in kids.\u201d<\/p>\n On empathy:<\/i><\/p>\n Suggest a reading of Lee Child\u2019s book, 61 HOURS,<\/span> which notes that teachers and parents need to learn that \u201cempathy is the key.\u201d \u00a0It helps adults think like their children do, see what they see, feel what they feel, understand their motives, circumstances, goals, aims, fears, and their needs.<\/p>\n http:\/\/www.diffen.com\/difference\/Empathy_vs_Sympathy<\/a><\/p>\n http:\/\/rootsofempathy.org<\/a><\/p>\n http:\/\/www.reference.com\/motif\/education\/empathy-building-activities-for-teens<\/a><\/p>\n Past blogs: http:\/\/sites.sandiego.edu\/character\/<\/a><\/p>\n\n
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