{"id":157,"date":"2014-10-13T10:47:53","date_gmt":"2014-10-13T18:47:53","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/sites.sandiego.edu\/character\/?p=157"},"modified":"2014-10-13T10:48:37","modified_gmt":"2014-10-13T18:48:37","slug":"my-pta-talk","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/sites.sandiego.edu\/character\/blog\/2014\/10\/13\/my-pta-talk\/","title":{"rendered":"My PTA Talk"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>HK called. He\u2019s a middle school principal.<\/p>\n<p><em>\u201cEd, I need a favor. The speaker for our parent-teacher meeting had to cancel. Can you come over next Tuesday and speak to them for about twenty minutes?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>\u201cOn what?\u201d<\/em> I asked.<\/p>\n<p><em>\u201cOh, why don\u2019t you say a few words about raising children to be people of good character?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n<p>(Obviously, HK benefited from taking one of my character education courses\u2014keep it short, get to the point.)<\/p>\n<p><em>\u201cOkay,\u201d<\/em> I responded, <em>\u201ctwenty minutes should do it.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n<p>He gave me all the particulars.<\/p>\n<p>Tuesday, early evening. My talked followed their business meeting.<\/p>\n<p>After the introductions, I began by telling the parents that I was the father of six kids. I noted that while my wife and I were raising them we had no training for parenthood, so we \u201cwinged\u201d it.<\/p>\n<p>I offered a few suggestions, acknowledging that none are fool-proof, most are common sense, and all will give them something to think about. (Note: I provided examples where I could, but these are not included in this blog.)<\/p>\n<h2>My first suggestion:<\/h2>\n<p>Tell your kids upfront that you are loving parents who want to offer them five family gifts: respect, responsibility, care, support, and safety.<\/p>\n<h2>My second suggestion:<\/h2>\n<p>Look at the character development of your children in this way: character, good or bad, are learned behaviors. The word CHARACTER has two Cs in it; one stands for CHOICE and the other for CONSEQUENCES. Living a life of good character doesn\u2019t happen by CHANCE, nor does it happen by CIRCUMSTANCES. It happens by CHOICE. If exercising builds strong muscles, then practicing the virtues of good character should build strong positive personal and social behaviors.<\/p>\n<h2>Third suggestion:<\/h2>\n<p>Use the language of character around the house everyday in all relationship matters. A few examples may help you:<br \/>\n\u23af Why are you teasing your sister?<br \/>\n\u23af How did you show respect in that situation?<br \/>\n\u23af Why is it his responsibility and not yours?<br \/>\n\u23af When am I going to be able to trust you?<br \/>\n\u23af Where are your manners?<br \/>\n\u23af Did you do your homework (responsibility)?<\/p>\n<p>Notice the value of question-asking and the result\u2014critically thinking about behavior. Ask questions. Question their answers to your questions. This technique highlights the fact that the answers to your questions offers them choices, and those choices offer opportunity for changing, and changes lead to possibilities. You get the idea!<\/p>\n<h2>Fourth suggestion:<\/h2>\n<p>As every parent knows our kids (and ourselves, at times) need skills to handle their emotions\u2014sad, mad, bad, glad. So, my suggestion is to remind you that it is okay to get angry. Everybody does it. It is what your children and you do after being angry that counts.<\/p>\n<h2>Fifth suggestion:<\/h2>\n<p>Put this poster on your refrigerator, on a bulletin board, or in your child\u2019s backpack:<br \/>\nThe least important word: I<br \/>\nThe most important word: WE<br \/>\nThe two most important words: THANK YOU!<br \/>\nThe three most important words: ALL IS FORGIVEN.<br \/>\nThe four most important words: WHAT IS YOUR OPINION?<br \/>\nThe five most important words: YOU DID A GOOD JOB!<br \/>\nThe six most important words: I WANT TO UNDERSTAND YOU BETTER.<br \/>\n(From <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">Relationships 101<\/span> by John Maxwell, 2009-values.com)<\/p>\n<p>There are no magic formulas in raising children of good character. But there are people out there who have really solid ideas on how you can help your children be people of good character. Here are a few of my favorites to get you started.<\/p>\n<p>Google \u201chow to raise children of good character\u201d\u2014lots of good information and resources!<\/p>\n<p><strong>Check out these books on Amazon.com:<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Michelle Borba, <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">Parents Do make A Difference: How to Raise Kids with Solid Character, Strong Minds, and Caring Hearts<\/span><\/p>\n<p>Robert Coles, <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">The Moral Intelligence of Children: How to Raise a Moral Child<\/span><\/p>\n<p>Sean Covey, <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens<\/span><\/p>\n<p>Tom Lickona, <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">Character Matters: How to Help Our Children Develop Good Judgment, Integrity, and Other Essential Virtues<\/span><\/p>\n<p>Marvin Marshall, <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">Discipline &amp; Parenting Without Stress<\/span><\/p>\n<p>Hal Urban, <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">Life\u2019s Greatest Lessons: 20 Things That Matter<\/span><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"mailto:deroche@sandiego.edu\">deroche@sandiego.edu<\/a><br \/>\nCDC webpage: http:\/\/www.sandiego.edu\/soles\/centers-and-research\/character-development-center\/<br \/>\nRecent Posts: http:\/\/sites.sandiego.edu\/character\/<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>HK called. He\u2019s a middle school principal. \u201cEd, I need a favor. The speaker for our parent-teacher meeting had to cancel. Can you come over next Tuesday and speak to&#8230;<span class=\"readmore\"><a href=\"https:\/\/sites.sandiego.edu\/character\/blog\/2014\/10\/13\/my-pta-talk\/\">Read More >><\/a><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":306,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2882],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-157","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-blog-post"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.2 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>My PTA Talk - Character Education Resource Center<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/sites.sandiego.edu\/character\/blog\/2014\/10\/13\/my-pta-talk\/\" class=\"yoast-seo-meta-tag\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" class=\"yoast-seo-meta-tag\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" class=\"yoast-seo-meta-tag\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"My PTA Talk - Character Education Resource Center\" class=\"yoast-seo-meta-tag\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"HK called. 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