The college admission essay is a daunting task that most seniors have to face. It is the final attempt for students to put in that extra effort that might land them into their dream school. For most, it is the hardest part of their application, and sometimes even of their high school career.
For me, it wasn’t until I pictured myself as the college admission officer that I fully understood what it was that I really needed to do. Amidst the impossible struggle of fitting my life story in those 450 to 600 words, the college admission essay literally asked me to put my life on show so that others could judge.
As Dirk elaborated in her essay “Navigating Genres,” location and direction are key. Location in the sense of knowing what it is that the admission officer is looking for. After much thought the answer seems simple, they want to read “your story.” They want to know all the big and the small events that shaped you into the unique individual that you are today. Direction is also very important, what is the genre of the college admission essay trying to accomplish? Well many might say it works a little bit like an advertisement, you are trying to sell yourself to a series of universities, and gather the best possible offers from them. Going back to the whole idea of location, how you illustrate your story is another major factor. You need your essay to stand out and you need it to be interesting. The college admission essay is the first time that you as a student are asked to brag about yourself, to voice your achievements and your accomplishments, and to do so in a manner that is honest and sincere. For many students this can be quite frustrating, as bragging in a way that is humble seems almost impossible. But like every genre has its own focal points, the college admission essay is its own standalone genre, and should leave the admission officer intrigued.
Great writing, it flowed very nicely. I would recommend more directly addressing who the audience of this genre is and what it is trying to accomplish. Try and dig a little bit deeper, like going into more details. Also, I think discussing your thoughts on whether it is its own genre or just part of another would be a good idea.
Isabel–
Overall, fantastic. I think you did a great job of expressing what the college admissions essay as a genre entails, as well as the significance of the location and audience. Adding your own experience warranted credibility– this was an effective strategy.
My only suggestions:
– Dirk is a female: “As Dirk elaborated in his essay “Navigating Genres,” location is key.”
– Choose between singular or plural. You cannot use both to refer to the same noun: “It is a student’s final attempt to put in that extra effort that might land them into their dream school.”
– Add commas after “For most” and “For me”
– The transition between first person POV and second person POV is abrupt. If the shift was intentional, try to make it flow a little more. If it wasn’t, choose a single perspective and stick to it.
– Also, watch your punctuation (punctuation typically goes within quotation marks, not on the outside, with few exceptions).